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Loving You

Azaleas Blog

 

Loving You

Odette

Hey you!!! I am happy you came back for another blog post today. “How are you doing?” I hope all is well with you. “How did you spend your Valentine’s Day?”Did you spend it all alone like me?” *giggles * or did your “special” someone spoil you with gifts and treats and a romantic dinner? Please tell me all about it. *patiently waits for you to tell me * as for me as I said, I spent mines alone. Which I didn’t have a problem with; some persons made it seem like a big deal but, why? Do they not realize that you can celebrate Valentine’s Day alone? I guess not. Well, guys, that’s exactly what I will be talking about today. Why I celebrated this “romantic” day alone and the reason behind it. Hopefully, it motivates many of you to try to spend it alone or at least appreciate being alone on this day. So let’s get into it!

 I know what you are thinking… Are you single? Is that the reason you spent it alone? Well, that is none of your business. I am only joking, but on a serious note I actually did not have to spend this day alone, but I chose to do so. Growing up I felt like Valentine’s Day was a day you should spend with your lover and you shouldn’t be alone especially with all my friends; they always had a secret admire get them something or their partner would get them a gift. As for me, I would get a little jealous about it because I didn’t really get anything; however, my dad would buy me chocolates and candy. Now that I am older and have a new appreciation for myself and self-love I realized that spending this day alone isn’t so bad. I might feel a little lonely, but hey it's not the end of the world and, I need to learn to enjoy my own company before I can share it with someone else. Not to mention I am going through my selfish years, so I have no problem being alone. I said what I said don’t judge me. Now let’s talk about how my Valentine’s Day went.

First of all, I work a 9 to 5 job so of course, I went to work that day. Typically, everyone would dress up in love colors which are red, pink and white, well as for me I wore all black. I mean from head almost all the way to my toes but I decided to wear red shoes. Like, come on who said that red is the only color of love. Love doesn’t have to be the color red it can be black to you know, show black some respect. *giggles * Anyway… while at work, many of my co-workers got flowers, baskets and so much more. Of course, I just sat there smiling because the look on their faces was priceless. One minute their face was dull and none caring and the next minute their face is brighter than the sun. In my head, I am thinking to myself “hmmm so sweet everyone is getting flowers today.” Keep in mind I’ve never received flowers before, but that changed moments after that thought of mines. This elderly lady walked in with 3 floral arrangements, and they were absolutely STUNNING!! Come to find out one of them were for me. M-E!!!! My smile went from cheek to cheek; but, who the hell got me flowers? I was so excited to open the card to find out it was from my loving boss. I told her “Thank you” with a huge smile on my face, it took me by surprise. I must say I now understand why persons’ face are brighter than the sun when they receive flowers. To be honest, and this may sound brutal, but I thought the only time I would receive flowers would be at my death bed or my funeral. *giggles * at least now I can say “Yes I have received flowers before.”, Even if it wasn’t from a guy. Not all the time flowers have to come from your significant other, it’s a simple act of kindness and thoughtfulness. Oh!! did I mention one of my best co-worker friends got me a bottle of wine? Now ladies who doesn’t like a bottle of wine on “Lovers Day.” Let me just say this…. The bottle is almost empty. *giggles * no I am not an alcoholic, I just had help to drink it.  I hope you guys aren’t getting too bored with my story but don’t worry it’s going to get better hopefully if you aren’t bored yet.

 So after work, I decided to take myself to the movie theatre and watch a movie called, Alita: Battle Angel. This movie was so good!!!! I know you are thinking “Who goes to the movies by their self, especially on Valentine’s Day?” The answer is “I do.” I always wanted to take myself on a date to the movies, and it just so happened to be on Valentine’s Day. It really wasn’t planned, but it turned out not to be a bad idea. On my way to the movies, I was extremely excited about taking myself out on a date not to mention I actually felt nervous which was funny to me now that I think about it. Like… who gets nervous to take their self out on a date? It may sound crazy, but things like this do happen. For me, I think I was nervous because I didn’t know if I would become filled with emotions or not, but that didn’t really happen. Well it kind of did to an extent. To avoid those emotions, I actually went to an early showing which was around 5:45 in the afternoon; simply because if I went at a later showing all I would see is cute couples showing Public Display of Affection and I wasn’t on that run. Once I got to the movies, I took a deep breath in and released slowly, went inside, purchased my popcorn and beverage, and proceeded to walk to the theatre room which the movie was playing in.  I basically had the whole theatre to myself and no joke that theatre room is enormous. I can actually count on my fingers how many persons were in there.  I got comfortable and placed both my legs in the seat and relaxed to watch this awesome action movie. Side note: if you ever get the opportunity to watch the film, please watch it in its entirety, it really is a good movie. 

 Once the movie was done, it hit me like a wrecking ball!!! I was fine ALL Day with no emotions attached, but once I walked out of that movie theatre, all I saw were couples. GOSH!!!! I am so happy I had caught an early showing. All I could see were couples smiling, kissing, holding hands, hugging you name it. As for me, I walked with my head held high with tunnel vision trying to get to my car. Then all of a sudden I felt tears draining down my face. The question was, why? “Why was this emotion now coming unto me so heavy?” “Was it because I was alone?” or maybe “Is it because now I have realized how much I regretted coming to the movies on Valentine’s Day?” none of those are the reason for me crying. The actual reason for me crying was because I FINALLY realized this was something I have been longing to do for a long time, but never had the balls to do it. Usually, I would love to have my friend/s come with me out but once they tell me “no” I just usually not bother. Those tears made me realize that I really and truly do enjoy my own company and that I am fine being alone and all to myself. After the waterworks were done, I made a commitment to myself that at least once per month I would take myself to the movies, but I think next time I will try taking myself to dinner. Hopefully, I don’t get too emotional. *sigh *

Now you may be wondering… “Why did you celebrate Valentine’s Day alone and what is your reason for doing it?” It’s because I chose to that’s why. *giggles * honestly, I wouldn’t say I celebrated it, but I just chose to acknowledge the day to celebrate me and my journey of self-love. I feel like for me to express my love to someone else I have to be able to express love to myself first. It wasn’t always easy for me to do so, but now that I am going through my selfish years I feel like this is the perfect time to do so. I mean come on… who actually said you have to spend Valentine’s Day with your “special” someone? It’s okay to spend it alone you know, single or not. You might feel lonely, but it feels good to spend it alone and treat yourself. Like I said earlier I didn’t have to be alone on this day, but I chose to. We as a society are so caught up in believing that you shouldn’t be alone on this day that it’s to the point where if you are, you are damn miserable like a 5-year-old kid who didn’t get their candy. That’s really sad. It shouldn’t have to be that. Learn to enjoy yourself in whichever way you choose to do so. Whether it’s taking yourself out, binge-watching shows or movies with a glass of wine or if you decide to go the extra mile and enjoy yourself sexually.  JUST ENJOY YOURSELF ALONE!! My reason for spending this day alone is simple. I just wanted to. That’s all it was. Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY!!!!  That’s my final answer.

 The moral of me sharing this story and my reason behind it is because I want you to understand that there is nothing wrong about showing yourself love and being alone on this day. Not all the time you have to spend it with someone and not all the time you have to do anything. Even if you are dating someone, in a fully committed relationship or even married, sometimes you should just enjoy your own company. Be selfish. Now it doesn’t have to be on “Lovers Day” in particular, but still like I said there is nothing wrong with being alone. Forget about what people have to say and what society tries to make it seem if you want to be alone then just be alone. This is just my opinion don’t kill me * laughs hard * I mean some couples don’t even acknowledge this day because they believe it’s just an excuse to show someone how much you love and appreciate them. Like there are 365 days out the year, why only on this day get your significant other flowers and other cute romantic things? Why can’t you do it on a regular day? But hey, that’s just how it is.  Anyway guys… that is all for today. I hope you enjoyed this post and enjoyed my perspective on this “special” day. Ladies and gentlemen continue to love yourself and being selfish when you need to be. Continue to bloom in every way possible. I love you!!!! Happy Belated Valentine’s Day.