Pruned but Thriving: A Year In Review
Odette
Pruned. This would be the best way to describe this year. It means "to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth.". Amongst other things, I think this would be the best term to use. On the more informal side – this year has been rather interesting, to say the least. From January straight up to now, there are things that I've been open about and some things I just decided to remain silent on. I am not saying I didn't have some pretty amazing moments because I did, but THIS YEAR HAS DRAGGED ME!
When I reflect on this year, the only thing I keep asking myself and God is, "Why did I go through all of this? Why was I able to withstand everything that came my way?". Every month had its own warfare, and I would just take it for what it was, deal with it the best way I could, and move on. And for every month, my first thought would be, "What will this month bring?". I had to become an armor for myself – an armor with patience, endurance, resilience, and humility. As the bullets came, I took them like a Viking. I had to be strong for myself and thank God for my mini village, who either gave encouragement, prayed for me, or simply was a shoulder to cry on.
True colors came out. I don't mean one color; I am talking about a whole bunch of mixed-up colors that don't even look good together! People who I didn't expect to hurt me, hurt me or betrayed me and try to mask it. For some people, it was only a matter of time before they did, but I think what caught me off guard with those particular persons was what they said to and about me like I did them something. For others, it was simply over trivial & petty things that made no sense. Fortunately, I didn't have time for the stupidity or the energy for any back-and-forth. If you can't take accountability, you have a victim mentality, and you like gaslighting. Don't waste your time trying to do any form of conversation cause it's like talking to a wall. And, you are only going to hurt your head or lash out, so I casually walk away for me – my mouth is my problem If you test me well!
I will admit, though, that there's only one friendship that I miss dearly that faded this year, and I take full accountability for that happening. No, I will not give you the story of that. However, I will say this – Many of my friends or "acquaintances" were to me succeeding! Receiving promotions, accomplishing the ONE goal they wanted, finances were going up for some, and for others, marriage and babies (I could wait on that). I felt like I wasn't moving or growing, and it wasn't like I didn't try, especially when it came to certain things or situations. I wouldn't say I was envious of them because I wasn't – I was incredibly proud and excited for them. But there I was, waiting. Just waiting for God to knock on my door. In addition to my finances – the spirit of bondage! Everywhere I look and turn. The point where to invest to better myself or my platform, etc., was a significant sacrifice, like touching money I didn't want to. Because finance is a touchy subject, I draw the line there concerning details – too many owls around watching.
Then, when things started to look up for men(FINALLY!), the unexpected happened. The cherry top and the icing on the cake. I didn't see it coming, nor was I prepared for it. But, one thing I will say is who God keeps is well kept. To be honest, I was/am over this year. As I said earlier, it has drained me, but my strength keeps renewing. Why? Because I've been praying because this is the time when you are still young and you can suffer because no matter what, the strength will find you to keep on fighting. I've dealt with a lot of silent battles this year. I've dealt with fighting myself, not going back to a dark place. I've dealt with "special" people trying to get me to snap, and because I didn't, all of a sudden, they were scared! I've done a lot of grieving and mourning this year to the point where I'm tired of crying and questioning things. I've dealt with putting myself aside just to be strong for someone else or be that light for someone, that listening ear, or simply just pray for them. Let's be honest: EVERYBODY dealt with something this year. But one thing I do believe – better days are here. They ain't coming cause it here, and even GREATER is on the way. Weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning.
It's not even a joke when I say I've been PRUNED. But just for length and time's sake. I don't think anyone could beat me in having patience in certain circumstances. Even when I choose not to have it, I feed my flesh, BUT GOD! He surely built it (more). My faith has been exercised this year; I talking about the "Story of Job." I think it's safe to say it's bigger than a mustard seed. This year was definitely an eye-opener for me.
Despite the challenges I faced this year, I am grateful and joyful. My faith, trust, and hope in God have grown more potent, and I can see where He is shifting and pruning my life to prepare me for the new season ahead. I am excited about my latest project, the early mini-merch, and my first official feature in the newspaper. One of the most important lessons I learned this year is that some people simply cannot come with you into your new season. This can be difficult to accept, but it is essential to remember that God is in control. He will prune and test you to prepare you for the blessings. Though I've been Pruned, I still Thrived!
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ”
